15 January 2008

two little buttons

Yesterday I was thinking about the word "should". I have decided to delete it from my vocabulary. I believe that our language defines us to a large degree. I like listening to people, helping them to change their language to make their dreams possible. It is time I did that for myself. Remove the doubt, remove the feelings of obligation. Focus on the positive, the creative.

It is more than 24 hours since I saw the sheep in the low morning sunlight. As I drove back I knew they would be painted in oil. I could smell the oil and the turpentine. I could see the frenzied brush strokes loosely sketching in the composition.

But then I got home. There were other things to do. Things I should do. Should, ought. Nasty, nasty words. They were OK when I was younger, learning how to fit into a society. But I learnt them too well, and now they are a problem. It is time to be focussed, some would even say selfish.

I don't even have the canvas and the paints together in the same room. I miss having a studio. While writing this I have decided to turn my kitchen into my studio. I am not quite sure where the kitchen will go. Does it really matter?

Some would say I ought to have a proper kitchen. I should be sensible. I will be; I am going to buy plastic bins to put my mobile kitchen in. The advantages of not having things fixed. I can move my oven, it has a gas bombola. What is a "proper" kitchen anyway?

Words and how we read them made me think of my cyber life too.

Delete
Send

Two little clicks of the mouse. Are these the most powerful words we use now? There is no looking back. Once you hit send, there is no second chance, no changing your mind. But until then you can still hit delete.

And now, I'm off to heat up some soup while the gas is still connected. Then I will build my studio.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm pee-in-my-pants excited for your new room. I mean new womb.

Kay said...

Nearly there... apart from a box of assorted olive oils and vinegars on the floor and some very pretty jars of lentils and chick peas and barley and pastas lining the bookshelf, you wouldn't know it was once a kitchen.

I am now the proud owner of a studio that comes complete with kettle, toaster, fridge and (tucked into the corner for now) gas oven.

Would you have guessed that all the pots and pans could fit into the oven, and all the cooking things fit into plastic boxes under the plastic table that is somewhere under the paper and canvases?

Now to get some pin-board to stick things on, turn up the music, and start! The paints are really enjoying being spread out in palette order on the shelves that once housed baking ingredients... the problem is going to be which ones to use first! Maybe I'll go back into oil for a bit... but the watercolours are feeling neglected... and I bought all that wonderful paper in September...

Oooohh, will have to sleep on that one. Oil to start with, I need to be energetic, fully involved. Oils give the total package, and the house will smell like a studio at last. Acrylics don't quite give me what I need at this moment. The watercolours can be for a quieter time...