15 February 2008

there is more...

There is more to life than painting, eating, sleeping, doing up my house, walking Zacchi...

I know there is more, there is something I should be doing.

I just haven't found it yet. Or it hasn't found me.

*****

Last year somebody said to me that, for now, I should just be being. Just learning what it is like to live here, be a part of this community.

Maybe I haven't been walking often enough.

*****

All through the winter people kept walking, with umbrellas, coats, arm in arm, no matter how cold, just chatting, meandering. Now it is spring they are out there in droves. I didn't know so many people lived along this mountainside. Women too... lots of them. Where did they come from? I was convinced that it was a man's world here (as in rather elderly men, don't get the wrong idea, girls!)

Ok, I'm off walking. Zacchi and I are off to join them.

*****

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I know there is more, there is something I should be doing"

Why?

(Genuine question, not being smart!)

Kay said...

Why? Can't really answer why. I just know that the different hats I wear, probably the ones I didn't list, actually, while interesting, worthwhile, and all that sort of thing, those hats feel as though they really belong to someone else, and I am merely keeping them on my head until the right owners come for them.

I am very sure I am in the right place, and I have a lot to learn before I can spread my wings too much. But I seem to be really busy working on other people's projects, carng about them but not always feeling passionately involved.

I wonder if it was my chat with Tiare that reminded me that there are really important things worth fighting for, not necessarily on a grand scale. And for now, I am not fully "engaged", other than with my painting.

I need to think about that some more. But not too much. The answer will come. But yes, I think it is because I like to make a difference, and at the moment I feel as though I am marking time.